Time to Fanboy over the Larry O’Brien Trophy Finally Returning to the Mecca!
Since the turn of the millenium, the New York Knicks have had only four seasons in which they finished with a winning record, none of which have come since 2013. Sitting at 8-17 in 2018, they look poised to continue the losing streak. To put it candidly, they’re pathetic, they’re garbage, they’re hopeless...and they’re going to win it all next year.
Ludacris, right? WRONG! There may be a million reasons why the Knicks won’t win a championship next year, like: the long-term strength of the Atlantic division with the Raptors, the Celtics, and the 76ers, or the question marks surrounding superstar Kristaps Porzingis’s health moving forward, or even just the fact that they plain suck. But despite what most self-proclaimed basketball “gurus” may be thinking (nudge nudge, Phil Jackson), I’m a dreamer who’s never wrong. So let me explain the truth and the reasons for the Knicks’ impending championship run.
1. Kristaps Porzingis Returns
OUR LATVIAN GOD RETURNS! Thank you lord! The Knicks are so much more exciting and energized when The Unicorn is on the court, not to mention better, too. Last year prior to his injury, the young all-star was averaging 22.7 points per game on 43.9% shooting with 6.6 rebounds and 2.4 blocks. It was clear how valuable Porzingis was to the team, as the Knicks last year posted a +0.1 Net Rating with him on the court and a -4.9 Net Rating without him. Assuming no setbacks in his rehabilitation from his ACL injury, Porzingis will be returning to the Knicks late this year / next year. And if he can put up similar production to what he was accustomed to, then the Knicks will see a major improvement in their young and developing roster.
FUN FACT: Did you know I witnessed this injury in person? My brother and I were sitting floor-level for this game when the future-of-our-franchise’s knee literally EXPLODED right in front of our eyes. I’ve never been so taken aback in my life, and I sat through six seasons of The Jersey Shore, watching those wackos try to live their version of “life”.
2. Young Development
The only silver lining to the Knicks’ lack of competitiveness right now is that it has allowed younger and less experienced players to learn the ropes of the NBA with real in-game action. Guys like Kevin Knox, Allonzo Trier, and Mitchell Robinson have been active and developing throughout this season, and as they continue to mature throughout the year, the future Knicks will reap the benefits. After a year of experience, expect these guys to be major contributors to the 2019 champion Knicks.
3. 2019 Lottery Pick
I was wrong to say that there was only one silver lining to this bummer of a season. Like we’ve seen with the Jets and the Giants in the NFL, the tank is well and real in New York! With the Knicks holding an 8-17 record with no improvement in sight, it’s safe to assume New York will be getting a lottery pick in the upcoming NBA draft. That means a top-tier prospect like RJ Barrett, Bol Bol, Romeo Langford (IU represent), or even the real-life Monstar ZION could be making their way to the Mecca next year. Imagine that type of talent paired with Knox, Trier, Robinson, KP, and even...
4. Kevin Durant / Kyrie Irving
TREASURE! Kevin Durant and/or Kyrie Irving will be the face of the Knicks franchise next season. Two tried and true NBA stars who seek the spotlight, either the snake in the grass or the flat earther will be the dominating force that brings greatness back to the Garden. I mean, we’re talking about a 2x Finals MVP (soon to be 3x) who casually drops 30 points per game and wears a size 18 shoe (WTF?), and a dishing-and-swishing all-star point guard who in his spare time makes movies about his once funny but now overdone alter ego Uncle Drew. Whoever the Knicks decide to pursue more strongly doesn’t matter. They both fill the major voids of star power in New York basketball and have the skills necessary to take the Knicks to the top once again.
That’s right - rub your eyes and stay woke. The New York Knicks are going to be the 2019-2020 NBA Champions, and that’ll only be the beginning of the Warriors-esque dynasty that awaits.
Purveyor of truth. Breaker of chains. Foolish fan of the Mets, Jets, and Knicks.