Russell Wilson: The Virgin Becomes the Master

He once was the most notorious virgin in all of sports. Now he’s the highest paid athlete in the entire National Football League.

Since being drafted in the 3rd round of the 2012 NFL draft, Russell Wilson has been the face of the Seahawks offense. During his 7-year career, the former Wisconsin Badger has won NFL Rookie of the Year, lead the league in passer rating in 2015 and passing touchdowns in 2017, has been elected to 6 Pro Bowls, and won Super Bowl XLVIII (48). He has the most regular season wins by an NFL quarterback in his first seven seasons (75), has the 2nd highest career passer rating in NFL history (100.1), and is the first and only quarterback in NFL history to have a passer rating of 128.3 or higher in five consecutive games. And yet, people constantly criticize Wilson, saying that he’s too short or that he’s not elite or not a franchise quarterback. That argument simply has no backing to it. Wilson has been one of the league’s top quarterbacks since joining the league. But the sheep will always have their opinions.

What people also consistently talk about is the fact that Wilson, a pretty devout Christian, was a virgin until the age of 27. Listen, I’m not a religious man, but if the guy wants to wait until marriage to nut, then let him do it. Based on his production in America’s most physically brutal and demanding sport, maybe blue balls are the key to success for all we know! But people wouldn’t let it go, and mocked Wilson through all of his accomplishments.

Well now, Russell Wilson is king. In 2016, he and singer Ciara got married, had sex rather quickly, and had their first daughter, Siena Princess Wilson, in April 2017. And then, the other night, Adam Schefter tweeted that the Seahawks and Wilson agreed to a massive contract extension just prior to the hard deadline set by the QB’s camp.

With a contract worth $140 million over 4 years, Wilson upends Aaron Rodgers as the highest paid player in the NFL at $35 million annually. And how does the newly richest football player celebrate? With a video like this:

Wow. All I can say is, this former virgin is an absolute legend. Nets $65 million just by inking a deal and celebrates by recording himself in bed (probably naked) with his wife. And I’d bet my life savings that they smashed immediately after that video, too.

People call Tom Brady the GOAT. Sorry Tommy, but not even 6 Super Bowl rings can hand you that status after this recent sequence by Wilson. Locks up Ciara, proves he smashes on the reg, and replaces his title of “Most Notorious Virgin” with “Highest Payed Player in NFL History.” And now, the GOAT stays in Seattle.

Purveyor of truth. Breaker of chains. Foolish fan of the Mets, Jets, and Knicks.