Buckle in folks, this will be a long one.
Wrestlemania is taking place at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ, the home of both the New York Jets and Giants. And much like those two teams, WWE will be surrounding some very talented assets with absolute trash.
For some reason WWE finds it necessary to make Wrestlemania an all day event. It’s like they’ve never heard of quality over quantity. This Sunday will feature an exhausting 14 matches on the card. This could have been one of the best shows ever, if they trimmed the fat. Get rid of 5-6 matches and this show would look perfect on paper.
With that being said, I am still very excited for the show as a whole. The WWE Women's title match will be the first women's match to ever main event Wrestlemania; Kofi Kingston gets his first one-on-one match for the WWE championship; and we have a dream match-up between AJ Styles and Randy Orton. I think this has potential to be one of the best Wrestlemanias ever, but it will come down to the outcomes of the matches.
With all that being said, let's get into predictions for every match on this years card (order unknown).
Women’s Battle Royal:
The idea behind this is to build an up and coming star, but WWE seems to ruin that every year. I think this year, however, will be the first time they do something right. There have been reports for months that Vince is very high on Lacy Evans and that she will be a big player in the future. I have her winning this match.
Winner: Lacy Evans
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
They are building this whole fuck-up-of-a-match around Braun Strowman and the SNL weekend update crew. Fucking stupid that Michael Che and Colin Jost are even close to a WWE ring, but whatever, this match is pointless. Braun wins because who gives a shit.
Winner: Braun Strowman
AJ Styles vs Randy Orton
I think this is going to end up being the match of the night. These two are so good in the ring, and I think they are going to put on an all out clinic. I think Randy will win because there will be a lot of face wins on this show.
Winner: Randy Orton
The Miz vs Shane McMahon
I think they are building Miz up for a future title run, and that is all going to start here with a win over the boss’s son. For some reason, WWE thinks beating Shane is an accomplishment even though he is not a wrestler.
Winner: The Miz
Kurt Angle vs Baron Corbin
This will be Kurt Angle’s last match in the WWE. Normally on someone's way out, they put the young guy over. I don’t see that happeneing here because the crowd would literally fucking riot and burn down the stadium. I am taking Kurt to win his farewell match, and he will be showered with ‘Thank you Angle’ chants.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Roman Reigns vs Drew McIntyre
This will be Roman’s first singles match since his return from fighting leukemia. So there is just no chance in hell he loses this.
Winner: Roman Reigns
Buddy Murphy vs Tony Nese
I don’t watch 205 live so I don’t give a shit.
Winner: Buddy Murphy
Men’s Tag Team Fatal Four Way (SmackDown Tag Team Titles)
They panicked on Smackdown and realized they had no tag team title matches on the card. So they just made one up out of nowhere. The new team of Aleister Black and Ricochet have yet to lose on RAW or Smackdown and I think they will continue that streak here.
Winner: Aleister Black and Ricochet
Samoa Joe vs Rey Mysterio (United States Championship)
There has been no build to this match at all, so it is hard to pick a winner. Although I would love for Joe to stay champ, I think they want Rey to win and have him feud with Almas over the summer. So I’m saying Rey win here.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Women’s Tag Team Fatal Four Way (Women’s Tag Team Titles)
The build to this match has been so bad that I can’t even begin to give you a reason why someone will win. I am just gonna say the Iconics.
Winners: The Iconics
Bobby Lashley vs “Demon” Finn Balor (Intercontinental Title)
Finn Balor will be going into his demon persona, and the demon has never lost on WWE television. The streak will continue here.
Winner: Finn Balor
Triple H vs Bautista
Because this is a retirement match and Dave Bautista has a very successful acting career outside of the WWE, there is no way he wins. Triple H will be around and wrestling forever.
Winner: Triple H
Brock Lesnar vs Seth Rollins (Universal Title)
Brock Lesnar will not lose the title until he is seen in a UFC ring with it over his shoulder. Once that happens, he will lose his next WWE match.
Winner: Brock Lesnar
Daniel Bryan vs Kofi Kingston (WWE Title)
Kofi Kingston is way too hot right now for them not to put the title on him. He would end up being the first black WWE champion. And WWE loves saying they did something for the first time, even if it is something they should have done a long time ago.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Ronda Rousey vs Charlotte Flair vs Becky Lynch (Both Women’s Titles)
Becky Lynch has been the hottest thing in wrestling for about 8 months now. Ronda is not expected to be back after Wrestlemania, so I think Lynch will come away with the win here and send the crowd home happy.
Winner: Becky Lynch
Betting mastermind. Didn't have the height or talent for sports but I can talk and pick them like a champ.